JTFMax Politics:

1. The Grand Migration March Backwards: Trump promises to use the Alien Enemies Act as if it were a time machine, hurtling us back to an era where immigration policies were more about exclusion than inclusion. Picture America's borders as less of a welcoming mat and more of a doormat for policies of the past.

2. The War on Cartels: Game of Drones: In a plot twist straight out of an action movie, Trump vows to take down drug cartels with naval embargoes and special forces. It's "Narcos" meets "Call of Duty," but with the potential collateral damage being international diplomacy.

3. Educational Exodus: Trump's solution to improving education involves dissolving the Department of Education. Imagine schools where the curriculum is decided in the Wild West of state governance, with history books that might as well start with "In the beginning, Trump created the heavens and the earth…"

4. Healthcare Hocus Pocus: Promising a healthcare plan that magically surpasses Obamacare without the slightest detail, Trump essentially offers a healthcare unicorn—much sought after but mythical at best.

5. Gender Policy Gone Gargoyle: In a move that's as medieval as it is meddlesome, Trump pledges to erase progress in gender identity and care, advocating for policies that would make even a Puritan blush.

6. Just Us Justice: Trump envisions a justice system that doubles as a loyalty test, where prosecutors moonlight as personal vendetta executors. It’s less about blind justice and more about eye-for-an-eye retribution.

7. The Fortress of Solitude Cities: With a nod to Superman, Trump wants to create "Freedom Cities." Imagine flying cars (sans traffic laws, presumably) and homes that sprout like mushrooms after a rain, in a utopia powered by the sheer force of Trump's will.

8. Electric Vehicle Vanishing Act: Trump aims to make electric cars disappear faster than a magician's rabbit. Back to the future, we go, with gas guzzlers leading the charge against climate change.

9. Drilling for Dystopia: Under Trump’s reign, "Drill, baby, drill" becomes the national anthem of an America where oil derricks are more common than trees, and the environment's last will and testament is being hastily written.

10. The Tariff Tornado: Trump’s trade policies promise a whirlwind that might just sweep America into an economic isolation chamber, proving that walls can be built not just with bricks, but with bad policies too.

11. Inflating the Inflation Battle: With a vague vow to tackle inflation, Trump's economic strategy seems to hinge on the belief that confidence can indeed be used as currency. The gold standard is replaced by the Trump standard—trust me, it'll be huge.

12. The Second Amendment Sanctuary: Trump's America becomes a haven where guns are more protected than people, and "concealed carry" might as well refer to opinions that dare to differ.

13. Equity, Schmequity: In Trump’s glossary, "equity" is a term to be eradicated, taking us to a time when discrimination wasn't just tolerated, it was policy. It’s a throwback to a less enlightened era, but with more tweets.

14. Foreign Policy by Fist Bump: NATO allies, beware. Trump’s foreign policy involves fist bumps for friends (if they pay up) and cold shoulders for foes, or sometimes the other way around, depending on the day.

15. A Return to the Golden Age (of Trump): Ultimately, Trump promises a return to a golden age, presumably the Midas touch, where everything he touches (policies, ideas, facts) turns to gold—or at least a gold-plated version of reality.

As we stand on the precipice of what could be the most "tremendous" comeback in political history, one can't help but marvel at the boldness of these promises. Whether viewed as a harbinger of hope or herald of havoc, one thing is clear: the Trump sequel promises to be a blockbuster, with policies that could reshape America in ways more fantastical than fiction. Buckle up, America—the ride ahead promises to be nothing short of spectacular, in the most Trumpian sense of the word.